Sometimes you fall before you fly.
In my case I had to
Stumble in the dark,
Fall on my face
And get up again…
Only to walk into the wall.
I found this quote on facebook the other day and boy did it resonate with me. While I don’t think anyone can say they haven’t felt this way at some point today, yesterday, last week, last month, etc., I truly believe that some of us find ourselves feeling this way more often than others and perhaps with greater intensity. I know that I am one of those people.
Our lives are filled with battles won and battles lost. Good times, bad times, positive lessons learned that propel us forward and negative lessons learned that can sometimes still hold us back, even in the best of times, until we find a way to move forward again.
I find myself stumbling in the dark once again now that my daughter is in high school and continues to grow more and more independent. Just as I have many times before, I’m back to focusing on who I am, where I want to go and who I will be when she is, for the most part, independent of me. We’re now thinking ahead to her last two years of high school, PSATs, SATS, college applications, essays, campus tours and ultimately going to the school of her choice. I’m thinking ahead to the day we drop her off to begin her freshman year, her college graduation, her first job right out of school, and her eventual move out of our home to her own home, as she officially begins her own adult life. It’s less than a decade away and it’s frightening to begin this journey that all at once feels familiar, scary and new at the same time.
Though it sounds cliché, being my daughter’s mom has been my most satisfying work ever and the most educational for me. No, it’s not always been the most exciting of jobs with a job description that has included in random order: